Social Support
RESILIENCE TIP
Resilience is the ability to cope well with
difficulties and to bounce back from
setbacks.
While some people are naturally more resilient than
others, resiliency can also be intentionally
developed.
Social Support
Social support is an important factor in our
resilience.
But what does "support" mean? For
example:
For some people support is having someone there
while we pour our heart out.
For some people support is having someone
brainstorm with us while we problem solve or
make a difficult decision.
For some people support is having someone accompany
us on a quiet walk.
For some people support is having someone bring us
dinner when we are going through a
particularly tough time.
Social support can take many forms, and which form
of support we would like can vary depending on the circumstances.
Support can become stressful rather than
helpful when people disagree on how that support should look. Sometimes we
mistakenly assume that our partner or friend or colleague understands support
the same way we do. Does this dialogue sound familiar?
"All I wanted was some support!"
"But I am being supportive, I was offering
suggestions for your problem."
"I can solve the problem, I just wanted you to
listen for a little while."
While it would be wonderful if others could read
our mind, research suggests this happens less than we would like! Even among
people who have known us for a long time, such as spouses and good friends, it
helps them support us if we can tell them what form of support we are
seeking.
You can build your resilience by: 1. taking
time to be with the important people in your life, 2. asking for support when
you need - and clarifying which form of support you would like (contrary to the
belief of some that being strong means being able to go it alone), and 3. making
yourself available to people who need your support - in the form they are
seeking (supporting others does help strengthen your own
resilience).
Carolyn Tal, PhD
Psychologist and Consultant
Working with individuals and partners
in developing resilience and related
issues.
052-825-8585
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