I Never Learned Anything New by Talking

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Hebrew version מעודי לא למדתי דבר חדש כאשר דיברתי

Written by Eitan Reuveni, Effective Management
Translated by Gail Ellis

“Therefore man was created with two  eyes, two ears and two nostrils but only one mouth, so he will listen more than he speaks.” (Our sages)

There’s no denying that rhetorical skill and the ability to communicate are qualities that serve managers and leaders on their way to success. A charismatic manager who is a good speaker has an advantage. However, like every aspect of life,  wisdom lies in correct proportion and timing – and of course in knowing when to shut up and listen.

Whether it’s with a subordinate, a colleague or a customer, learn to keep quiet: Allow your conversational partner to finish speaking before you jump in with new ideas of your own. Silence provides an opportunity to listen not only to the words and the ideas, but also to the feelings being expressed.  Likewise, silence encourages speakers to expand on their ideas.

It was professor Ichak Adizes, the guru of management who said “You can recognize a good executive by the depth of the scars on his tongue.” Outstanding managers take care to bite their tongues and prefer to listen rather than blurting out what is on the tip of their tongue at the moment.

And also in business: “Never be the first to open your mouth during negotiations. A fish that opens its mouth gets hooked.”

And by the way, when you finally do open your mouth be clear, direct and plainspoken. On this Aristotle said “Listen like a wise man, speak like a simple one.”

  • There are people who, instead of listening to what’s said to them, are busy thinking about what they are going to reply in  a minute.
  • Sometimes (what can we do?) silence will also save you from embarrassment. On that subject,  Abraham Lincoln said : “It’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”
  • When you can choose, it’s better to remain silent and not speak: Ears never got anyone into trouble, whereas mouths often do.
  • A wise man (maybe a Chinese, I don’t know) once said: “When I grew old, I learned to listen to people rather than to blame them”

And by the way, when you finally do open your mouth be clear, direct and plainspoken. On this Aristotle said  “Listen like a wise man, speak like a simple one.”

Regards,

Eitan Reuveni
054-4666013
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